I want to see a corpse. I read about it and feel like I know about it, but I do not. It is just figments of my imagination. I feel if I where to see a dead body I would be able to further my comfort with death and it would change my outlook on life. I would try and meditate with the body, at least focus on the bubbles coming to my head, the instincts I was feeling, and possible emotional connections. I’ve seen a dead body, that of my uncle’s 15 minutes after he died. He was yellow, scrawny, he’s cheeks were almost non-existent, cold, but he was SO CALM. I cried a little but I couldn’t avoid this sense of being calm and serene. So so calm, I felt odd for feeling that way, the loved ones around were so distressed. Amhara’s grandmother believes that people whom feel the most grief when someone has passed it is because they were unable to tell him or her something, or never got closure. I cried my eyes out the day before because I realized he was really dying and he gave me one last moment of his presence. He gasped up opened his eyes looked at me and said I love you, laid back down curtly. He was receiving calls all day my aunt would hold her phone to his ear as people were saying their goodbyes and he would smile from time to time. When I saw him dead there were two plastic (light bulb) red candles flickering at the windowsill, I placed a flower on him, kissed him, and did not look back.
Honestly if I could have chosen I would want to see a body decomposing, being that it is our deepest connection with the earth, when becoming completely grounded once again, (partially evaporated into the air). To see a corpse is not easy. It takes a long process of demands and litigations. First I contacted 311 asking if they knew any morgues in NYC, with no knowledge they forwarded me to a hospital with an anatomy department. After speaking to Lenox hill Hospital I was abruptly told that no such visit would be possible. Owens funeral home the one I had visited for the interview told me that they would forward my message to Mr. Owens, yet he never called back. Then Home after home I was told that it would not be possible to view corpses because once the body reached the funeral home it was confidential between the family and the home, unless permission was received from a family member of the body or if one is registered with the state. I found it to odd of a request to ask a family that I did not know so I let that one go. To become registered with the state of NY one must receive a High school diploma, a 2-year college degree, and 1 mortuary course. Then, proceeded to calling New York City’s medical examiner which transferred me to multiple extensions, finalizing that I would not be able to see corpses because there is a confidentiality due of process between the law and the family and no one outside of these relations are allowed to see the bodies. Stumped again I then was thinking about how I could cut the family issues out of the picture; when a body is donated to science the family is already aware that the body will be seen for multiple reasons all under the educational umbrella. I thought haeey, I FIT THAT PART! So I began calling around at medical schools in New York City, then being transferred to their anatomy departments. Columbia medical school told me they had never herd about this and asked for my “contact information” and said they would promptly call me back. They once again never did. I then contacted NYU’s anatomy department that politely DENIED me. Lastly I came in contact with Mount Sinai School of Medicine, which has a program for high school students interested in medical studies In the future. They kindly gave me their contact information. I am currently going through an email exchange between Ms. Olmeda and myself. We are awaiting conformation from her superiors. This is a long complicated process and the industry obviously finds anyone without a college degree not competent to be faced with death unless it arises in his or her family or on their block.
For pupils to follow who want to see a corpse:
• Madeline Olmeda, BBA works at the Center for Anatomy/Functional Morphology,
Mount Sinai School of Medicine and is the person to contact about attending an anatomy pre-course of sorts for high school students. Her email is madeline.olmeda@mssm.edu
• The American Academy McAllister Institute of Funeral Service would be a great school to contact, even though we are not college students they cater to people who want to learn about the rituals surrounding cadavers.
• Death midwifes one could contact: nora@thresholdsoflife.org(http://www.thresholdsoflife.org/)
I'm curious what Ms. Flesh will truly feel upon viewing a corpse. I imagine that the quest to overcome something denied is more palpable as Ms. Flesh is very directed and passionate against an obstacle. I would like to hear more about what she expects of the experience. It is possible to attend a funeral with a body on view just by seeking the information about the time and place of the service and "viewing". Perhaps the experience of group grieving would be valuable to Ms. Flesh. Often times memorial services are listed publicly and I think as long as she is sincere and respectful she could attend a memorial service.
ReplyDeleteI was with Ms. Flesh upon the death of our dear friend. Personally for me it was not about not having closure. Closure is highly over rated. It is about loss. I personally have a lifetime of loss due to death and have pondered this human existance of ours since I was child. I have not come to any conclusions except that our whole life cycle is incomprehensible to me because the loss is sometimes unbearable. For me closure, or the end of a linear story doesn't make sense to me. Every loss I have experienced is equally as painful today as it was 43 years ago and beyond. I think young people like life to fit into a safe clear idea... but I doubt that in this case that will be possible.
My saving grace is in beauty. For me experiencing art, music or reading authors that resonate with me like Dostoevsky, Solzenitzen, Tolstoy and Lao Tzu help to balance my soul.
Eloise,
ReplyDeleteI think this is a great idea! How brave of you to look at something that is a source of fear and has a negative connotation for most people and to literally and figuratively look it straight in the face. I appreciate your tenacity in the pursuit of this endeavor, and I wish there was some way for me to help you. It seems odd that a dead body could be so taboo and difficult to see in our society...especially for educational purposes. C'est la vie!
I cried a little but I couldn’t avoid this sense of being calm and serene.
ReplyDeleteeloise, i have felt this too.
when gary died, i did not feel sad right away. I justfelt calm. but i also felt somethig else. i felt respect. respect not to what he had lost but what he had made throughout his life.
i felt the same whan one of my bestfriend's fathers died. i felt sad for his children, and the time that he might have had with them that he lost: I did not feel sorry for his death. what is death but fo renewal? is it not just to give back to the world which you have taken from all of your life?
stoping people from seeing what we become is not an evil thing. death is a part of life.like a fire that sweeps through a redwood forest, it clears out debries, strenghens bark and helps some new children grow. death itself is not sad; it is how do you leave. do you leave peacefully or in much pain. do you die quietly or with big fuss. it is not the if that matters, but thew when and how.