sistas & brothas

BILL HILL, the man is 65, wise, tough lover and a survivor. He has delivered 7 babies so far, 2 in Woodstock of which he said "I didn't know they were pregnant enough to have babies", his 2 daughters, 2 that had complications, and the last one to his neighbor Mary. Mary had her home birth secretly because doing such is illegal in New Orleans (along with 15 spectators, Bill says she started completely dressed but halfway ripped her clothes off with everyone there,” it’s natural ya know?"). Bill learned how to deliver babies through experience with cows, dogs, cats and reading one birthing book, simply observing the diagrams and noting the important signs of the mother’s status and that of the baby. "It's not rocket science, it’s nature." When Bill speaks about the birthing of his wife he said, "she just pushed it out, but I did most of the work", when previously he had stated if there aren't complications all there is to do is catch it. I believe such contradiction and prejudice towards the strength of his wife comes from the fact that she left 3 weeks after the birth of their second daughter. I found this prevalent to the analysis of Bill's point of view on such a subject because he became the mother and the father, he had to buy his daughters first bra in the middle of a snow storm because her nipples were showing. Bill was brought up his first 18 years of life in the foster care system (essentially a slave), this is interesting because he became a mother in such prevalent ways and so close to the process of women without ever having a mother or sister of his own. Bills second daughter was born with dislocated hips and he eventually found a hospital (the Shryner club) that was willing to aid in his daughter’s treatment (she grew to eventually have no effects of the birth complication, but had steel in between her feet for the first few months). Because of the abandonment of her mother Bill was desperate to find an alternative to formula for his daughter, and she was breast-fed by the neighbor for a whole year! (My grandpa’s mom when she had kids had HUGE amounts of breast milk, so she would pump and give the rest to the hospital) Bill says the most important factors of birth are insuring the baby is in the right position and is not wrapped by the umbilical cord, he has dealt with both of these issues. One of the babies head was wrapped by the umbilical cord so he pushed it back up, stuck his hand in her vagina, unwrapped it, and out the baby came. Mary from New Orleans was having great difficulty so he made her teas, drew a warm bath (with Epsom salt) in she went and 10 minutes later the baby came out, but his hand was by his head so he pushed him back in and then out he came. Bill says he's learned through sex and one book, that rubbing women’s nipples helps vastly with the facility of birthing. He also says what is very important is the after care; making sure the women hasn’t ripped, all the placenta is out, she is clean, and so is the baby. Bill says he hates the modern birthing industry and the manner in which hospitals complicate births and enforce their practicality and profit versus the comfort of the mother. He says cesareans are simply rushing the mothers, and alters the women’s body and experience when unnecessary. "old days it was the natural way, ya know". Bill says delivering a child is the most invigorating experience he has ever had, seeing the baby take its first breath, slapping it on the butt, wiping its nose, making sure it is okay, "not to many people get to do that". I find Bill is a great example of "with age comes wisdom". I respect him so very much, and for the short time I spent with him learned a lot and connected deeply. Bill ended saying two things I found very powerful "Life is a bunch of cycles, you cycle through it, then your gone." Describing birth and injustices created through mother culture "Just the start of a life, Just the start of a life, we just gotta break the cycle, we just gotta break the cycle." I believe the stories of each birth (which I did not write because of time restrains) were ultimately what stuck with me the most. The connection and struggle of the women that I could feel within me, the relation of the budding of a new organism to continue to sprout around all our influence. Of these Mary's was the most powerful, she was defying the state law in order to under go the most instinctual natural process and doing it with out the restraints of the industries. I could imagine it, a warm home glowing with light radiating from the mood and feelings of the 15 expectant lovers, radiating their feel along with the mother. Sitting with struggle, chained in by her clothing, embracing her skin tightly, struggle, more sweat, more pain. Ripping off her clothing, her beautiful brown body radiating of life, a tight stretched belly falling towards the ground, a beautiful back and smooth skin, a red and present face strutting around the house. This symbolized for me the ultimate women’s empowerment her being the center of attention because of her struggle in her most animal form naively being, not restricted by the pressures of society, with as many people as she desired supporting her. Bill's experience with birth completely defies that of most people in America, his relation with American women, and their process as well. Bill's view goes against the mainstream business of birthing.

RYAN MADOOR is 29-year-old women with 3 kids, 8&7 year old, and an 18-month year old. Ryan went through all the phases; she had a predominant American hospital birth, the first with epidural and patosen for enduced labor, the second only and epidural. Her last child was born all natural with a doula but was simply conducted in a hospital (the effects of her ever lasting fear instilled by society). Ryan says she remembers all her births equally and felt the same joy but felt EMPOWERMENT such that she could not put in words from her natural birth. She used breathing techniques, strattled her bed and would focus on a certain point and would breath as deeply as she possibly could into the pain letting it out through all her extremities. (I could imagine these women completely extended with each wave of energy and tension rushing through her body jaggedly but exiting with sensual calmness.) When she was fully dilated she gave birth standing up and they placed cushions beneath her to soften the crash of the child. In such an experience Ryan said she had a change of personality and learned allot about herself and her personal boundaries. With each birth of her children she progressively learned more and de-mystified the subject while learning more about herself. She said she felt society was trying to dis-empower the women and take such an experience and turn it into one of profit motive. The birth of her first child cost $13,000 the second $10,000 and the last $5,000. With her first birth she said the patosen freaked her our because she lost control of her emotions because of the rapid occurrence of her reaction in her body and was no longer in control, she also said their was no one to help coach her through the pain. With the second child she had strong feelings of excitement and less of fear and anticipation of the unknown but still felt repressed by the staffs response to her. She feels all the fears and stigmas she had against birth stemmed from mass medias strong structure of having to do A. B. C. D. with no option. She feels society builds in a fear factor for birth to create the dependency on the industry versus educating the mother. Ryan says she has a fear of having kids late and life and is one of the reasons she had them so young (she wants one more), she wants her children to have great-grandparents, wants to be able to run and play with her children. She questions the dominant social practice of having children later in life and wonders the effects it has on the child, and oddly the economy.

VALERIE BURDIN (MANMAN), this was an odd interview because my mother’s answers were quite dry and redundant for the most part. As far back as I can remember I would always ask my mother the story of my birth over and over, always asking something new. Yet it still gave me such as sense of joy and overpowering love and connection to my mother, such that her answers we dry because in a sense my body and unconscious thought knew the answers of these already. Not in concrete statable memories, but in that of emotion and feeling (the sense of being aware in which my bodies nerves move). My mother had me at 33 years old in St. Raphael a small town in the south of France. She surprisingly had a cesarean (even though she did all to avoid it by getting a homeopathic vaccine a month before, because she has a vaginal condition) because I was facing outwards instead of having my skull first. BOY WAS I ALERT ALREADY, READY TO BE NOTICED! (HAHAHA) The cesarean was not rushed or forced; it was simply done in a relaxed manner, after a while for the best of my health. During her cesarean the doctor (whom also delivered all my aunts, and cousins) narrated the event for my mother and then the nurse placed us head by head "on se embrase pour la premier foi"(to make out for the first time.. truly in-translatable like a lot of French). She says she did not read any books or buy any gadgets or extra preparing she says "ya pa de tous ca!" In France having a child is supported by the government, unlike America where it is practically discouraged! First the government covers everything, the mother can choose to give birth in a hospital or a clinic (the equivalent of a private hospital, smaller and less regulated). At the beginning of the 6th month of pregnancy the parents are given money every month, (first month she bought bed, next stroller, ect.) in France we do not have baby showers there is no need for everyone to help you with the expenses and cover it up with an exhausting stressful party for the mother. The mother receives a mid-wife, which conducts 3 lessons post birth to teach you the logistics, and is connected with the mother’s choice of doctor so they are exchanging information. The government suggests that you stay in the hospital for a minimum of 5 days so you can RELAX!!!! Over the course you learn how to breast feed, shower the baby so on. You are given the option to keep the baby in your room at night or they can keep the baby over night so the mother can get her rest. After your birth for the first 3 months the governments provides time off from work, paid full salary; the women receives more time if she is breast feeding. The government also provides for both parents a year off from work where you are only paid the minimum monthly wage, but your employer is obliged to take you back after your leave. The Government also has public nursery’s that have good prices so that if necessary their is the option to have a baby care taker. I focused on the logistics of government support because it shows the vast difference between America and France and exemplifies the cruelty and dis-empowerment placed upon women by the American system. Also seen with the comparison of Ryan's experience shows how mechanical and industrial the process becomes in America, just another business investment. Where as France even though an industrialized society supports the nature of a women and not being completely oblivious and suppressive to our animal habits.

Questions and main interest I have developed from these interviews are: How can we break the cycle? How has the DSP of having children later in life affected the women, child, and family’s life? How do the DSP’s in America around pregnancy and birth dis-empower women?

Generational Perspective

I interviewed 4 people, A whom is a 16-year-old female, C who is also a 16-year-old female, M a 15-year-old male, and B a 17-year-old male. I will elaborate upon patterns/dominating ideas, and illustrate unique and insightful prose. 

A stated that when she imagines birth she sees this painting in her head (http://www.studio-international.co.uk/studio-images/Kahlo/0042_b.asp), Frida Kahlo: Birth. I found this to be very intense and somewhat distributing and altered from the image of that of most. It portrays blood staining white sheets that almost give the image a sense of impurity. The mothers face is also covered, assuming she has died during labor, and lays at her vagina an adult proportioned head. I think it is a very mind altering view of birth and breaks the dominant view, of biblical, clean, and heavenly. M stated that he views birth as the ultimate symbol of vulnerability. I found this very interesting because such a quality is seen as unpleasant and undesired in our society, (one should not be open), yet most see the child’s dependency on the mother as intimate, nurturing and loving. Why do the standards of vulnerability alter as one age augments? 

A re-accruing "surface" thought of all the interviewees, is the aspect OF PAIN. How the women must suffer to have a child, a grueling experience, which intimidates one. C stated that as a child she dreamed of one day being pregnant, literally; hoping over night she would become pregnant and the following morning wake-up in labor. As her young mind became more tainted with what society thought now she is very worrisome about the act of one day giving birth. She feels the drugs will be nice to help her cope. M stated that he thinks hospital and home births are on opposite spectrums from artificial to natural. He does not have prejudice and believes it should happen however the women feel comfortable. He says especially for the women " who do not have a high tolerance for pain, drugs are very comforting". Our society has created a crutch for women to lean upon, a faulty notion that they are not strong enough to endure the process naturally and need to be helped. From a feminist point of view I see this as an attempt to take away women’s empowerment. I also think women are foolishly blinded by our culture, and let these artificial fears cloud their destiny. Women ARE MADE UP TO HAVE BABIES! WOMEN BACK IN THE DAY DID NOT TAKE DRUGS. 

Ironically, M states that he connects the vulnerability of birth with drug addicts whom are vulnerable because of their dependency on chemicals, and of people whom have been released from prison and are use to having a set schedule and then feel lost once released. Many women act to be vulnerable and rely on the allopathic crap. One must be clear that I myself have never had a child and am only speaking from my natural instincts and interpretations of what I hear and learn. I believe that a women who has used drugs to induce a child's birth, has more truth and value to her beliefs and opinions then that of my naive thoughts vagina, and uterus. 

The first encounter with society

When I think of birth the first thing I think of is a flesh like pink, and red. Patterned and textured with the infinitely delicate fibers of muscle. Slowly stretching with the new beginnings peering out. I hope my sub-conscious thought remembers being in the womb, and truly I don’t see how it cannot because we truly remember everything it is a question of what we choose to ignkowladge. When I think of birth I always think of death, they are the opposites, and we must have death to have birth and vice versa. "4 births each second of every day... almost 2 people die each second"(http://www.wholesomewords.org/missions/greatc.html)

" When I think of birth I always think of the warm tender, tickling kisses my mother embellishes upon my skin, and that of my grandmother nana, and that of her mother, of her mother, until their was one mother? The 1st law of thermodynamics states that all energy can neither be created nor destroyed, and what is life but energy? When I think of birth I think of the semen coming out of the penis, and swimming into the womb, the great and short-lived life of a sperm, unless implanted into the egg. I have since young, I do not remember where this information came from directly but I am sure it is somewhat accurate. I have this picture of a very pregnant (Cherokee, Iroquois.. no specific tribe but rather use the real names) women willowing her way to the river with deep breaths and slow steps, reaching the calm stream and squatting her strong brown legs and squatting a while upright with her calf’s in the water. Pushing with all her might, with only the forces of the water, the wind, and the mud beneath her until her child slowly and powerfully pushes out of her into our limitations of the earth. Then grabbed by his own mother.

I hope one day to have a child because I feel that is the main purpose of my body and I want to put it to use, for the way it was intended, (with pride that the sex before caused such growth)!! I hope I can have a similar experience to the partially imagined women above, I feel their could be nothing more empowering. I am also haunted by the millions (billions?) of homeless children whom have been born and are in need of a mother, maybe I will do both? Maybe I will marry a women, and in that case do not know if I want to deal with the scientific crap. (** Slight diversion, I have friends, a lesbian couple who just had a baby girl, with our other gay friend Michael, without the scientific crap, simply using a turkey baster!!!!!!) I believe pregnancy is beautiful and so interesting. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aU6ojtBW0Qo (this specific clip is corney, but very cool also)I really want to learn about the emotional aspects, and I SUPOSSE the infuriating logistics of childbirth in the United States, perhaps the heartbreaking experiences in 3rd world countries.

QUESTIONS:

      .            Why do Hospitals (besides the beaurecracy that are ultimately run for the benefit of the patient and to provide the advances of medical science innovations) USE CHAIRS THAT FACILITATE THE OGBYN, AND MAKE IT HARDER FOR THE MOTHER TO GIVE BIRTH!!!?? 

      .            How are women versus men’s character different, with the fact that a father can simply leave a child versus a mother whom is physically attached? 

Why are their so many perpoustous rules in our society, yet a crackhead has full license to have a baby?