hw 28 !

FOR CASEY:
YO ! I think this was a really great post, as always the writing style flowed nicley. I think that your greatest strength shown in this post is your ablity to incorporate your thoughts on illness in dying with all aspects explored in the class so far. I belive the best line was " Even so, I wondered how he could have thought that he was invincible. I realized that such an attitude can be found in most people, whether revealed by an 11 year old boy jay walking, a high school freshman smoking cigarettes, a college student forgoing a condom, an obese middle aged woman watching television all day instead of going to the gym, or a diabetic man having a field day at Kentucky Fried Chicken. No one wants to think that they are susceptible to sickness, to mortality, to falling into a vulnerable hospitalized circumstance, to death." It was funny because you stated so many true cases, even though many sound like a sterotypes and relatead it to what sounded to be a dominant american population.. but I think you got slightly distracted by why many people don't get health insurance because I am sure your uncle as invincable as he felt if insurance was free he would gladly accept. So I think this highlighted the sad fact that one cannot be optomistic rather feel pesemistic and get insurance because it is not simply provided it is a choice determined based on economic position.

OVERALL GOOD JOB ! :)

FOR EVAN:
I believe this is great insight to an odd predicament. The harsh reality that health care is not the only solution, and many times with even all our medical knowladge simple maladies cause great harm. It is sad to hear this but he should be greatful that he at least has the opertunity to have someone tell him they don't know what to do verus... we dont know how to help you without you giving up some cash. I wish you would have exmplified with more lucidity and strength what the dominant social practices seen here are ? My favorite line was "t is extremely upsetting to him and everyone around him that the medical system has yet again continued to fail our family (in addition to the fact that they couldn't even identify MY problem when I went to the ER a short time ago)." I think it got to the center of the issues of how someones injury affected you and all around you. This could have been improved by expanding on a wider scale as aforementioned..

good job... sorry for the troubles !
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FROM CASEY:
Eloise,
This is gorgeous writing! How creative and appropriate to make narrative poem. Your writing accentuates the gravity of the situation you witnessed on you visit. I think when you said "She says she feels there pain but doesn't urn for their intensity" you meant to say "She says she feels their pain but doesn't yearn for their intensity"...but I might be mistaken. I would have liked to read a bit about the context of this visit; who was this female you were visiting? Did you know her prior to your visit? Did she like being interviewed?

FROM EVAN:
Eloise,

My goodness what a visual and grueling post to read! I am not sure if you meant to write it this way but being a filmmaker I could really, REALLY visualize your tale and even hear your tone in narration. One of the greatest lines to me was

"The melody to her environment is the constant beep, beep, beep, beep, beeeep beeeep beeeeep of the thermometer. When she can sleep she seems the most content, but the parallel world it sends her to seems quite unappealing as well. It's as if all the energy that usually pours outward upon others is battling within her trying to kill the bacteria."

To be honest if I were writing a screenplay it would go something exactly like this! Lines like this actually drove me to think about how I would frame such an image to do it justice. As always I would do a quick read through (especially for such a long post) to look for simple spelling and grammar errors. However in this case I found such grammar errors delightful because it made me hear the narrating voice so much better!

Evan

FROM MENTOR/LORILEI:
It is an interesting thing, Eloise, how illness affects both the patient and those who love them. Illness creates a unique dynamic that reveals much of the core of relationships--brings out the best and/or worst in people and we don't know until it happens. It is both an internal and external process, and one that cannot be anticipated--we cannot prepare for what it is to see a loved one suffer, or to lose our health when we are healthy. You never know how good it is to be healthy until you are not. health is something we very much take for granted, until it is gone...like so many things, I guess. The frustrations inherent in receiving adequate healthcare are well expressed here. Would love some context, it's true--would inform how it is read and interpreted.

FROM YOUTH/LIAM:
i feel that your ideas of health are correct. i can feel tha sadness and the soulfulness coming from the pain the girl is feeling. she is obviously ind discomfort. i could also feel the embarassment when she went to the ER. A large part of Health is the mind. if you what you belive will happen because your deeds and mood will drasticaly change your actions and state of being. That's why a placebo is an adequite test for new medicines. your belif in a medicine or a procedure or anything greatly increases it's ability for sucess. health = wealth and belif = health, so belif = wealth

from Liam