los veijos thoughts (READ. . . OR THE ONE BEFORE !!!! )

I once again asked what the word death connoted, they both looked at me surprised as if I had startled them. Wendy began to talk about her niece, bubbling to the thought that death is missing beings, Maman said missing. Both specimens want to donate their body to science and then be cremated. Wendy says this is because she likes the visual of the ashes being in different places and letting her loved ones take part, she’s says its also the easiest. She noted that “back in the day” if you did not have money they just threw a whole bunch of bodies in a pile covered them with some dirt and that was it, now the poor are cremated. She also says “we should just get back to being ashes real fast, turn into compost faster”. Maman believes her “spirit” will re-integrate with nature. On the terms of “after” death Wendy stated “WHAT HAPPPPENSSS, I haven’t a clue but . . . I know what I would like”. At one point Wendy used the expression “kick the bucket” I naively asked her what it meant, she said dying, just said in a way that is more removed and disconnected from the emotions that attribute with death.

After interviewing these older specimens I find that they seemed more sorrowful and reminiscent, my mother held it in her eyes, Wendy poured it out. My peers like my self had this attitude of “lets not mope around after a funeral, fuck that negative shit” lets just remember and keep it pushing. Yet these women seemed to remember and “keep it pushing” but there were deeper scars and emotions within their tattered hearts. Maman really seemed to think and censor what she thought before she spoke. Wendy would babble and bubble but through this she reached deeper thinking. Both women also avoided describing death itself, but how other deaths had affected them. Maybe they have lost their imagination, or think it is better to not pretend about the ultimate un-known. Wendy’s remark; humans being chucked in a pile and covered with dirt at first to me felt as dis-respectful, I feel this way because it does not give each person a spotlight. I reflect I don’t know if I agree with my bubbled thought. I feel as though maybe humans are scared of death because it is the ultimate un-known, and to counter balance this we spend a lifetime seeking to gain knowledge, attempting to avoid our fear. ALL MY INTERVIEWEES BELIVE WE HAVE SPIRTS (I should have asked them to tell me what a spirit is). I feel so many of our beliefs are based off of words from common vocabulary so we assume we know what it means but do we truly? Wendy said “when I kick the bucket”, I thought this was an interesting statement of removal, the images it brings to my mind: a strong push to tip the heavy weight, slowly the strong metal container tipping gushing of all its contents with a strong abrupt quick destruction, dispersing across the ground. I feel it really connotes a spirit i.e. the water leaving a shell, but the water seems to trickle and disperse into a huge puddle in surroundings, just like rippling.