TO PEERS :
TO BEATRICE: From what I understand PP is an orginization that provides free health care for women and families, and the government is planning on cutting there federal aid because of anti-abortion outcries, even though only 5% of there help is abortions and that money does not come from there federal aid. You attended a protest supporting PP and then created a movie about people who plan to have a family/kids.
I REALLY LOVED YOU VIDEO, the music undertoning- the dialouge was really nice. All your footage was complied VERY nicley and there was still some humour. It really gave a sense of planing for the future and following our insticts. I thought the way you represented this information was simple but powerful, ITS REALLY GREAT ! CONGRATZ !
your project matters to me because i have helped multiple friends get aid from planned parenthood and they are a great orginization. They really help support the common people that our system denies. It gives women the power to be sexual, safe, and not be judged. I think such programs are VERY IMPORTANT. I think supporting PP is imperative, please let me know of protest to come !
Slight advice, create or illustrate a stronger connection between the blog post and the movie.
LOVED YOUR MOVIE, FROM A MOVIE MAKER TO ANOTHER (HAHAHAHA!!)
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TO NAIMA: Naima, your narrative discribing the doula training class you are going to take, your first memories of birth, and the deep discussion with your aunt about working with child delivery and the medical system was written with great beauty. It tied in the previous unit as well (I belive without intention) Which i belive is very powerful.
I realllllly liked the actions your taking, becoming a good friend of yours I can really see you as being a very helpful person in pregnancy. I think that you taking these courses is very interesting and EXPERIENTAL TO THE MAX ! I can't wait to hear how they go! I also really liked the opening story of your post it flowed like a river.
Your project matters to me because as a friend I value the relationship you have with your family and I feel these actions you are taking are going to have a major positive influence on your step mother and especially the little babe to come ! (hopefully) What story it will be to tell that you saw your sibling being born.
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TO CASEY:
Casey, your narrative of following Dr. Moritz all day and getting to attend a c section, a mis-carrige, and multiple vaginal births. Also getting to see the attitudes of nurse practiconers hospital regulations, a doula, and you yourself participating in the birth I find is beautiful !
I really valued the manner that you narrated your post, there was detail, humor, passion, and fluidty. It made me feel as if I shadowed you that day as well.. I can even picture some parts in my mind ! WELL done !!
As a women your post matters to be because you were able to emotionally support a women in labor and truly connect to her and carlito without even knowing her. I think this is really beautiful and must impact the way you look at life. It as well really matters to me that you were able to have a "behind the scenes" visit where you were able to do many things that are not allowed, like catch the baby, hold a flap of skin, so on. I think this is very powerful because these are skills that all women should equire and should not be hidden from us.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
TO ARIEL: Ariel, you shared you and your families intimate story about the birth of your premature sister and the hardships that came with her birth. you then reflected based on what you have learned summarizing that you would not like to have a baby in a hospital but in a birthing center. I completley agree girl !
What I valued about your post was how you were able to learn from your mothers decisions and hopefully imrpove the outcome for yourself. I also really valued that you wrote a narrative I think it changes from an essay and shows the true emotional side of birth, you make that clear expecially with the discription of your mothers hospital stay.
Your project matters to me because I think it is proof of another women empowering herself, it also shows a deep love between you and your family which i think is very important.
I really enjoyed your narritive, I would just suggest proof reading it before posting !
Great job !
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FROM PEERS:
FROM NAIMA:Wow, I really appreciate the creativity brought into your project. You explored your thoughts through these images that often bring a sense of discomfort among most people. This is because we aren't used to confronting our thoughts, even though they come naturally for most of us.
I really appreciated the poem that you wrote, I could totally imagine you speaking these words with passion, and I'm happy that you could communicate that through the internet!
I appreciated the topic because I felt like it is one that everyone can relate to. You have your own understanding that everyone is a sexual being and I appreciate your willingness to question sex being thought of as taboo among a large population in the united states ( i can't speak for any other place).
I still think that you have room for improvement in your writing. I wish that you would have introduced the poem and explained your thoughts being it and the video. A good way to think about it is to think, what if someone not exposed to pregnancy and birth were to see them, how would I prepare them to read my post? well... you get my drift? miss you! have fun in france!
nai
________________________________________________________________________________________________
FROM MY UNCLE SAM:TO BEATRICE: From what I understand PP is an orginization that provides free health care for women and families, and the government is planning on cutting there federal aid because of anti-abortion outcries, even though only 5% of there help is abortions and that money does not come from there federal aid. You attended a protest supporting PP and then created a movie about people who plan to have a family/kids.
I REALLY LOVED YOU VIDEO, the music undertoning- the dialouge was really nice. All your footage was complied VERY nicley and there was still some humour. It really gave a sense of planing for the future and following our insticts. I thought the way you represented this information was simple but powerful, ITS REALLY GREAT ! CONGRATZ !
your project matters to me because i have helped multiple friends get aid from planned parenthood and they are a great orginization. They really help support the common people that our system denies. It gives women the power to be sexual, safe, and not be judged. I think such programs are VERY IMPORTANT. I think supporting PP is imperative, please let me know of protest to come !
Slight advice, create or illustrate a stronger connection between the blog post and the movie.
LOVED YOUR MOVIE, FROM A MOVIE MAKER TO ANOTHER (HAHAHAHA!!)
________________________________________________________________________________________________
TO NAIMA: Naima, your narrative discribing the doula training class you are going to take, your first memories of birth, and the deep discussion with your aunt about working with child delivery and the medical system was written with great beauty. It tied in the previous unit as well (I belive without intention) Which i belive is very powerful.
I realllllly liked the actions your taking, becoming a good friend of yours I can really see you as being a very helpful person in pregnancy. I think that you taking these courses is very interesting and EXPERIENTAL TO THE MAX ! I can't wait to hear how they go! I also really liked the opening story of your post it flowed like a river.
Your project matters to me because as a friend I value the relationship you have with your family and I feel these actions you are taking are going to have a major positive influence on your step mother and especially the little babe to come ! (hopefully) What story it will be to tell that you saw your sibling being born.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
TO CASEY:
Casey, your narrative of following Dr. Moritz all day and getting to attend a c section, a mis-carrige, and multiple vaginal births. Also getting to see the attitudes of nurse practiconers hospital regulations, a doula, and you yourself participating in the birth I find is beautiful !
I really valued the manner that you narrated your post, there was detail, humor, passion, and fluidty. It made me feel as if I shadowed you that day as well.. I can even picture some parts in my mind ! WELL done !!
As a women your post matters to be because you were able to emotionally support a women in labor and truly connect to her and carlito without even knowing her. I think this is really beautiful and must impact the way you look at life. It as well really matters to me that you were able to have a "behind the scenes" visit where you were able to do many things that are not allowed, like catch the baby, hold a flap of skin, so on. I think this is very powerful because these are skills that all women should equire and should not be hidden from us.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
TO ARIEL: Ariel, you shared you and your families intimate story about the birth of your premature sister and the hardships that came with her birth. you then reflected based on what you have learned summarizing that you would not like to have a baby in a hospital but in a birthing center. I completley agree girl !
What I valued about your post was how you were able to learn from your mothers decisions and hopefully imrpove the outcome for yourself. I also really valued that you wrote a narrative I think it changes from an essay and shows the true emotional side of birth, you make that clear expecially with the discription of your mothers hospital stay.
Your project matters to me because I think it is proof of another women empowering herself, it also shows a deep love between you and your family which i think is very important.
I really enjoyed your narritive, I would just suggest proof reading it before posting !
Great job !
________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________
FROM PEERS:
FROM NAIMA:Wow, I really appreciate the creativity brought into your project. You explored your thoughts through these images that often bring a sense of discomfort among most people. This is because we aren't used to confronting our thoughts, even though they come naturally for most of us.
I really appreciated the poem that you wrote, I could totally imagine you speaking these words with passion, and I'm happy that you could communicate that through the internet!
I appreciated the topic because I felt like it is one that everyone can relate to. You have your own understanding that everyone is a sexual being and I appreciate your willingness to question sex being thought of as taboo among a large population in the united states ( i can't speak for any other place).
I still think that you have room for improvement in your writing. I wish that you would have introduced the poem and explained your thoughts being it and the video. A good way to think about it is to think, what if someone not exposed to pregnancy and birth were to see them, how would I prepare them to read my post? well... you get my drift? miss you! have fun in france!
nai
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Critique of "Savages" -
I found the main strength in this project to be in the balance between saying to the viewer "you are this, this is what you are" in a way that bordered on being didactic while at the same time using an approach that also brought about the beauty and wonder of what you are witnessing.
There is a tension created here between, on one side, the editing, pacing and even the hand-held camera re-filming of already filmed elements and on the other side the actual content of the images along with the musical choices. Not an easy balance to strike or maintain. I was reminded at times of the films of Stan Brackage, especially of "Window Water Baby Moving" which explored human birth through the use of montage.
I think there is courage behind having committed to this subject matter and trying to create a viewing experience that teeters on the edge of being confrontational while having sustained moments of relief to let the viewer simply take in the wonder and mystery of the processes depicted here.
Issues that I had follow -
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At first I thought the opening of the film, with the upside down imagery, was being used as a way to abstract the biological processes depicted, but as the piece progressed and this was not used again (the upside down imagery) I was not sure that this was successful. Of course, this may have not been why the images were presented this way at all, but that is how I perceived them.
At times I had issues with the hand held nature of the re-filming. Sometimes it actually added to the almost poetic nature of the piece, while at other times, to me, it simply obscured the content.
I felt that the project stopped, as opposed to ending. It seemed like time had just run out on the project, and not that there was a "point" to the abruptness.
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All in all I would say that this project was a success, and hope that you continue to explore the power of montage as a way to reinforce and sometimes create all new meaning via film editing.
Sam DeWitt
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FROM MARTYNA:
Eloise! You chose to investigate the subject of human sex vs. savage animal reproduction. You created a video collage containing sex and labor, and wrote a poem discussing the taboo subject of sex and giving birth.
I appreciate the work you must have put into the video. I am interested in movie making and I know that, at least for me, such a montage takes a lot of time and skill to stitch together. The way you transitioned between clips keeps the viewer awake, eager to know what will happen next.
Your topic matters to me because I have been thinking about how sex in our society is starting to become just another source of pleasure. Teenagers seem not to care about the emotional side of love-making. Its a shame that your project can't really be shared publicly because it could help some people realize that people should not become savage animals.
The combination of film and words made your project intriguing and gave me food for thought. Awesome work!
Martyna
(PS Im sorry, my comment just wouldn't post in one part )
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